I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
