hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
