Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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