You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
