wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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