Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
