its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
