"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
