when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
