Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
