Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
