She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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