Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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