I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
