Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
