My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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