a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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