i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
