i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
