I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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