hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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