im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
