Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
