My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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