the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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