happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
