So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
