You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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