Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
