I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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