My friends, they love my intelligence
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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