porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize