it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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