Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
