I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
