Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
