how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
