I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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