are you so shy because you have an std?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
