i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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