I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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