Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
