So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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