In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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