there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
