you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
