it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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