My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
