i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize