Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
