Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
