I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize