Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I could fuck to npr.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
