Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
