New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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