If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
