Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this will be a night to untag.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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