Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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