i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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