wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
