just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize