Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
