great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
