I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
