he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
