did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
