**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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