happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So squirting runs in the family.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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