Already got asked if we're dating
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
