you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
