Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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