I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
