Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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