Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Nicole vs. Life
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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