So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize