my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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