that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
