at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
