Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
