Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
