New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
