get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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